Fear and Guilt in the Middle East.
For many years people have tormented the world with acts of depravity and violence. As an only means to power, those willing to do what others are not, assume control. In endeavors for good and evil this is true. But in the case of the wicked, they have found the greatest weapon anyone can hold over a population. And it isn’t a plane, a little bomb, or even a huge bomb for that matter. The “Weapon of Mass Destruction”… is fear itself. Yesterday in Iraq almost 1000 people were killed by this malicious and terrible weapon. After all of the public bombings and other horrendous acts that have been committed. It was the simple “rumor” of a bomber in a large crowd, and the impending fear that caused a stampede that killed more people then any attack since New York.
This was the scene that was left after the “stampede” had claimed it’s victims, a street filled with the unclaimed sandals of people who literally ran for their lives. Killed by nothing more then fear itself. This seemed to me to be the most honest, sad and deprived example of a metaphor coming to life that I have ever seen. It is fear… and it is the only “real” weapon that terrorists thugs have ever had. In the history of the world, for better or worse, the only way to control or manipulate a mass of people is through one of three mediums, religion, fear, and guilt. All of these things have a decent and righteous place in our life. And all three, if not governed with a sense of independence, and intuition leave us vulnerable to a wide number of ill fates.
While reading the last set of comments I noticed a disturbing trend. GUILT. I am constantly being thanked for reminding people to “not take the things you have for granted”. I am almost sure that I never said that. I mean it is obvious, inherit in our culture for us to take things for granted. For example: I haven’t felt carpet under my feet since I have been here. But does that mean that you will know what that is like because you made an effort to not take it for granted? No. Does it mean you should feel guilty for the fact that you sit, reading this, at a comfortable computer chair and run your toes into your plush shag carpet? Of course not. That is why I am here in the first place. And I will be home soon enough to do the same thing.
The message I was trying to deliver was not shame on you guilt trip, but a positive one. The idea isn’t to feel guilty for the things that we have that noone else does. America has open doors. Even people here, with ambition could one day make it to our sweet shores and enjoy a life within our borders. And birth their children here, and send them to school with my children, where they would grow up only to appreciate the differences between each other and play on the same football team at recess. The invitation is open to the entire world. Appreciate the long and hard journey America has made though so many eras, and times, and political climates, and yet always maintained a singular heading outlined in a document 100′s of years old. Guilt is a negative and unproductive emotion.
Americans’s are to accustomed to feelings of fear and guilt. Whenever we are shown an image of an impoverished nation, we are made to feel guilty and somehow to blame and charged with the responsibility to help. Which we should…help that is, not feel guilty. We deserve what we have, there is no other way to look at it. As a culture we do… as a generation, we have much to contribute. I would feel like some discontent swine if I felt that my function was to show people a life here without the same amenities, with the only result to make them feel guilty for what they have that I, or the people around us here do not have. Also in a sense, shame on people for being so arrogant as to pity such a strong and relentless culture as the Afghans. Everyone from Alexander to Ghangis Khan has stormed through this land and brought nothing but trouble to these people and yet they stand here like a rock jetting out from beneath the tide.
Don’t curse yourself for not appreciating your way of life, or taking simple things for granted. They are supposed to be taken for granted. For better or worse it is the life we live. If you think it is an American thing to not be thankful everyday for running water, you are wrong. It is a trend true with every place that has had running water for over a year. When the water heater breaks here and there is a week of cold showers, only then do I appreciate the hot water, it is a fact of life. The key for Americans is to appreciate all of the little things at once, and embrace them under the heading of the American Dream if needed. And do something everyday to further that dream for yourself, your neighbor, and your community. Something to make someone or somewhere better. Don’t feel guilty for not appreciating the little things. Count them as services rendered by the dream….and pay the bill on that dream every month, and help further it’s place in our world. That is our function as citizens, to further sustain the dream. Not to feel guilty because our parents did their part.
There is more decency in America everyday, crime and vagrancy is always be amuck to some degree. But it is the whole of our parts that will be considered when the time comes. Despite our lessoning world popularity, I think America is headed back to a place where decency rules and the gluttony of the 90′s will fade away.
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(Waiting out an attack)
Asleep, finally…well deserved. Then came the familiar desperate bull horn and the frantic scrambling of men mindlessly repeating to each other and to random inanimate objects… Incoming!… Incoming! After scrambling out of the top bunk and onto the floor, gathering my equipment and running to the my place of duty… I remember thinking that this is the second worst way to wake up in the middle of the night. The first of course being, every other day, back at Bragg waking up to the all-to-familiar screams of my alarm clock at 4:30 in the morning. In my opinion much worse by comparison.
I have bigger problems here then rockets. For those that know me you can attest to my fragile sanity when it comes to subtle annoyances and things beyond my control. The first of course being the ongoing battle against the evil parasite that attempt to destroy my way of life here. I am speaking of course about flies. If only they had the common sense of a man. If you and a friend were bothering me…and I killed your friend with a single deft swoop. Wouldn’t you run? I would, but they don’t. I could derive some subtle satisfaction from killing one fly and watching the others, upon seeing this retreat in high fashion and with great hurry and severe prejudice. But they are fearless, I almost admire their courage. But I would love nothing more then to destroy the entire species. They have no sense of right and wrong. They land on your face, and lips, while you are eating or talking. They have no tact. And they never end. They are insurgents of the highest order…terrorists flies. They never attempt a frontal attack, I could respect them if they did, and always just a few at a time and with the sole intention of ruining you with fear and loathing of everything that would otherwise be decent. They are retched filthy creatures, and they are driving my internal anger to unknown heights.
Then there is the other thing. It is not as constant, but twice as maddening. I have radio shift in the middle of the night. Which means that I wake up in the middle of the night to come and watch…or listen for the radios. When I am off shift I am ready to go back to sleep. Of course back the base, I have my own little room complete with the office I built, but here I am in a tent packed with bunk beds and there is 6 of them. For those quick with the finger math that is 12 people in one tent. I am not complaining, we are on a mission here, the last mission we were on I slept on rocks. So in comparison the top bunk is like the Hilton. However when I return to it to go back to sleep. There is always someone that is snoring.
In my experience I have never slept around people that I didn’t know well enough to slap if they started snoring and buy myself enough time to fall back to sleep before they resumed their midnight vocal solo. Here I assume that behavior would be unacceptable. So I lay there…Paralyzed with suppressed anger and fear. I grip the edges of my sleeping bag and pull them close to my face and grind my teeth and stare at the ceiling fighting insanity. The unnatural noises that come from the people in tent are horrible. I sometimes ask myself if it is possible they are fucking with me?. I think, “Noone breathes like that…”, “they must take me for a pacifist.” I consider murder, suicide and a host of other irrational options. I just don’t understand, some of the sounds people emit are so unlike anything a lung would produce naturally. Every time I drift away to sleep in a few moments of silence, the snoring resumes and I am jolted in a heightened state paranoia and disgust. When one finally gets so loud that they snore themselves awake…(you know how “snorers” do that) I see it as an opening to try and fall under. And that is when someone else will start in producing the god awful noise. It is like they take turns in some awful plot to determine the breaking point of an otherwise normal person.
Then I figured out a solution, one not involving a pillow, or a bullhorn. It never rains here. So I set up a bed outside the tent today. I am almost offshift, and I can’t wait to go to bed. I wonder how long before someone takes offense to this. It is the army way, they have a natural fear of anything creative, original or unique. Their collective mind is made for policies and standards and for that reason we will never see eye to eye. And for the same reason, someone will make me move back inside the amphitheater soon, I can feel it.
Ahhh yes, mail day. I didn’t expect to get mail here, I mean we are on a mission and I hardly get mail at our base. But never-the-less, I was more then happy to see the big birds hovering over our location kicking rocks and dust into the air and causing and even bigger stir with rumors of mail.
And sure enough…
Thank you for the package. I am sure you have been waiting for me to get it as much as I have been waiting to get it. Slinky Jr and bouncy balls and Playdo…awesome. The Playdo tasted a little stale but the slinky was awesome haha. Thank you again for the thought. Andrew
Thanks to everyone who commented again. It feels good to know that people are reading what you are writing. I am challenging the likelihood of that with this post. Even longer then the rest. But I wanted to include some personal stuff along with my thought on the ever-important American Dream thesis. More to follow as always. I am getting a ton of people stopping by and not commenting. If you have nothing to say just write “hi”. I love my comments…. Myers
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